August

there is no harmony.

she is in need of water

and you are just full of yourself.

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party

it is the pain within

that brings you loneliness

among even thousands of people

even the dearest of people

what throws you far from the crowd

is the thickness of the lie

it is the depth of what hurts

what you can see

but you don’t want to see

what you know

but you don’t want to know

it is that scream

that rage

within

that makes you sound so soft,

look so calm,

so fluid.

it is the scare

it is the wideness

of that scare

it is perhaps

that much transparency

that makes you invisible

that much clarity that makes you fragile.

what throws you far from the crowd

is the thickness of the lie

it is the humility

the humble pain

within

that brings you loneliness

among even thousands of people

even the dearest of the dearest of people.

sick leave

I cant grow plants

in a burnt heart

at least till the time

the ashes are still there

not forgotten

I need time

I cant just wake up on any day

and say

like

ok, today I smile.

to be fairly real

I need a bit of time

to swallow things

days with flue

infection

confusion

are also days

and they also end up with a night.

then, even if we dont move

there is no pause in our flow

so there comes a breeze

or maybe a shift in stars

and direction of light

and blows the ashes

fills the holes

I get up

I dance again,

and deal with the mass of ego

we spit on the earth

and accept that we are all one, the same.

and I deal with it.

atlántic beside me

He is blue

light blue

transparent

so clear

he comes slow

goes slow

weightless

humble

charming brown eyes

most of the time

in a blue shirt.

he is the azul clarito

sometimes from the mediterranean

sometimes from the atlantic

something around our heads

you are bitter

and I know all you need is love

but your ego hits me in the face

in the chest

it makes me tired

it makes me want to go to sleep.

I am not sorry because this is not about any of you

but all of you

about all of us.

مواجهات

من اينجا نيستم

حتي سنگين ترين تكه هايم را با خود برده ام

حتي نوك انگشتانم را

خيلي وقتها مي شود كه دروغ مي بافم

جواب سربالا مي دهم

به همه خشكي و درست كاري دور و برم

تا از واقعيت در امان باشم

عاشق فرار كردن و

ناپديد شدنم

هر جا كه پاي عشقي درميان نبوده

دير يا زود خودم را با همه وزنم محو كرده ام

و آدم ها يكي بعد از ديگري

نبودنم را مي بينند

كشف مي كنند

و يكي بعد ديگري

از من نااميد مي شوند

معلم هايم

همكارها

دوست هاي غيرواقعي

هم خانه ها

دوست هاي غير واقعي

دو نيمه شب

از خواب مي پرم

رويابافي كرده ام چيزهايي را كه مي ترساندم

غريبه اي كه در را باز مي كند

عشقي كه از دست رفته

گم شدن

هيچ چيز را برابر و حتي نزديك به خواب دوست نداشته ام

اما شب هايي هم هست

كه بيدارى آرام ترم مي كند

و واقعيت

از همه ي خيالبافي هايم امن تر است

قلبم نزديك ذهنم بيدار مي ماند

يك يا دو ساعتي

و فقط قلبم و ذهنم.

سي و شش تا ايده تر و تازه

راه حل فرمولهاي رياضي گره خورده

و چهل و چند تا شعر

به هر زباني كه شنيده ام

ازقبل

باز هم صداي دلمو گم كردم

فكرام سرمو ميكنن زير آب

تقصير هيچ كس هم نيست